Tag Archives: prayer

14. Could I Side-Step This Marriage?

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So what to do?  Cold and hard to accept fact time; the marriage proposal was on the table and we had to talk about it now.  I pleaded with my brother that I didn’t want to get married yet, it was too soon.

‘I don’t know her well enough!’ was the best petition I could make and because a simple ‘I don’t want to!’  was not cutting it.

It’s not only respect for family doing what your elders deem is right for maintaining the family’s honor but “…it’s been this way for hundreds of years, what do you want to go and change things for now?”  Not forward thinking I felt; tradition takes precedence.

Somehow they just knew that when the SS Lakemba returned from Canada into Suva, I would certainly be on that ship, right off the island I’d go.  Hmm maybe my brother did peek into my bag at some point.

It appeared that all who had a say in this household wanted me to marry Hemma but what about me?  No, no, that didn’t matter, their minds were made up and that was that.  My brother being the head of the household since our father passed, announced to me, “You will marry Hemma and that’s final.”

I am certain the pressing uneasiness also was that my family would be the ones who failed to keep their promise, certainly not honorable, if I didn’t make good on their word of this marriage.  Personally I don’t think that promise should’ve been made in the first place!

Feeling that this pronouncement had to be accepted I just had to distract myself for the time being before entering into this marriage which had to be.  Staying around the house everyday this predicament surely would cause me to blow a circuit or two; I desired no participation in the details if I could help it.

Simply put, this is not how I thought my life should go.

Well, it was a new year and so it was also time to move forward I guess.  I went over to C & A Kalyan, Ladies Tailor shop hoping they’d take me in.  I was accepted and they made it known to me they were happy to have me back; well that was nice!

For those of you who have read post 6 – Tailoring My Way Off the Island, you’ll remember this is where I worked before heading out to sea.

I knew I’d enjoy what I was doing and it would keep me out of the center of things at home.  I was blessed to work at least 40 hours a week and half a day on Saturdays which was also payday so I definitely showed up!

Well, the month of May just had to come around didn’t it?  The preparations were being made at my house and believe me there’s beyond a lot to be done for these Hindu weddings.  There’s construction of the celebration accommodations such as tents for sitting and eating areas, etc., to spices and menus being prepared, clothing and jewelry bought and well you get the idea and everyone goes the way of the vegetarian for the preceding week.

The town electrician came to string up the lights and generally the neighbors all jumped in to help; it’s really a big to-do!  We also fed everyone, everyday!   And I’ve only told you about the goings-on at the groom’s household.

The festivities always begin a week ahead of the marriage day and can continue for up to a week afterwards.  It’s really quite a sight …and much work, but normally everything is good and everyone involved is very happy.

Noori had been in and out of my house all this time, helping everyone she possibly could with their work, also known as my wedding preparations.  We had a private moment when she told me that she would always be there for me.

Her heart was breaking yet in spite of that she told me she understood why I was going in this direction and even I should go forward with her blessing.  Noori said she thought me even more respectable that I was honoring my family’s wishes; that she declared was worth so much more in her eyes.

All over the place there’s lights galore, dancing, laughter, eating and singing everyday.  And talk about a rainbow of deep rich colours, colours everywhere!

Sooner or later I knew they’d catch me!  I was now off duty from work for a week or so and the preparations on me began.  All week long I wore only white clothing.

Every evening I sat outside on a chair in the place which was prepared for daily prayer.  Before every ceremonial duty to be performed which was wedding related, a prayer is conducted.  This is how we do it.  That’s why I sat there.

Anyhow focus.  All the females of the family and some female family friends would paste me up with Haldi.  So as the week progressed I became a golden child!

In our Indian tradition it is favorable to do this because, for the couple about to begin their new life together, it gives a spiritual cleansing as well as representation of prosperity.  And there’s another reason why Haldi is used in this instance and that is to rid the new couple of Buri Nazar.

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Haldi  made from golden turmeric, water, sometimes rose water and sandalwood powder & it looks like our Little Blue Masala has turned gold!

Buri Nazar  the Sanskrit term for evil eye.

2. 🏊🏽 the Sweet Water Pool and a Marconi – part 2 (from the Cinema)

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My brother-in-law had a business where they built buses on to prebuilt motorized bases (something like a big-rig cab minus the trailer) which they bought from elsewhere.  At this garage they also tended to some cargo trucks, did general auto repair work, and the city taxis would sleep there every night.

It was located in Suva near the wharf where the big ships docked which was an especially perfect location as far as I was concerned; more on that later.

Every time his company completed the building of a new bus, a celebration was in order!  This consisted of taking the entire immediate family up to a beautiful place called 17 Mile Rubber Plantation for an outing devoted to a delicious picnic and play.  🌿 Think along the lines of ribbon-cutting ceremony and gratitude given in prayers, all rolled into a jovial time for all.  Oh the fun we would have there!

💧There was a natural fresh water pool, which was fed directly by the cascading waters from the above mountaintop.  This body of refreshing water, which we lovingly referred to as the sweet water pool was conveniently located center stage of the very tall rubber trees.

These wonderful giants (to me) provided excellent shade and the dappled sunlight called forth a leisurely spent afternoon.  Another highlight for me was the proximity of this picnic spot to the ocean allowing me to continuously hear the surf crashing on to the sand.

The family all together at various intervals sitting around the pool, the younger girls and boys either hiking around the area or in the pool splashing around happily, such joyful memories!  We would enjoy cool refreshing drinks savoring the likes of guava and coconut juice and there was always an inexhaustible supply of deep red 🍒 to snack on!

I remember the ladies always brought a deck of cards to play the favorite game of trump; one could say it was a part of our tradition, this game.

Meal production time and it was most often the men who would get busy cooking our picnic meal and it went something like this:  everyone had their place on the meal prep *assembly; someone to prepare the ingredients, another is adding said ingredients to the giant pots, one is standing by as the fire & pot watcher, stirring the mix, and another is the taster and contributing whatever else needs doing.

Synchronized like clockwork but a lot more fun. The menu was usually our favorites like curried chicken and veggies, roti and rice of course, and the must have tomato chutney.

After indulgence of a once-again perfect meal, ** we’d rest in the shade for a bit before heading out for a swim or more exploring.  Several of us would climb atop the giant rocks there to jump into the cool waters.

This particular time -as I had not previously attempted this maneuver- I wanted to share in the fun the rest of my family was having so I climbed up and jumped right in.  Well I guess I should’ve taken the time to think it over.

I really wasn’t an experienced swimmer by any stretch of my imagination and so I began to take in water.  A lot of water!  I was now drowning.  I surfaced two or three times, clearly struggling.  As my stars had planned, it wasn’t my time.

Luckily there was a scouting troop at the watering hole also enjoying the beauty of the day.  And so I am told, one of the young men, a Gujarati fellow noticed me and without a second thought I’m certain, jumped right in to save me!  The water was a bit murky and as I went under again, he had to search but he then felt my flailing hand touch his leg.  I had been found …and saved.

📻 I can remember when my brother brought home a Marconi shortwave radio.  🎶 I liked the music I was hearing and not until later did I realize it was country western music.  There were nice shows everybody enjoyed listening to; ‘Voice of America’ and ‘All India Radio’ to name a couple and these programs generally came in the early morning hours starting about five.  Good way to start my day as far as I was concerned.

This radio ran on batteries along with a couple of bamboo sticks & wire for reception.  My friends and I put together an antennae consisting of what we knew to be ‘special’ wire which we strung on to said bamboo sticks.  We then hoisted these sticks up, pounding them into the ground and running one of the wire streams into the house.

Listening to the radio programs further whet my appetite for adventures waiting to be had and I felt absolutely packed to the gills with such fervor; it was alive and ready to erupt inside of me like a volcano!  I knew that part of me needed to come out and explore, at the very least.

I may be incorrect in thought here but I felt there was no one else as interested in such foreign things as I was.  A display of overwhelming curiosity was oozing from every inch of me and I just had to find the answers to all of my questions.  The family seemed to be content with the way things were but I always wanted so much more.

At one point we also acquired a phonograph player and yes we played those old 78 rpm records and yes, I was fascinated by the picture of the dog attentively listening to … His Master’s Voice and I used to watch the little dog go round and around.

There was a once-removed uncle that at some point had looked at my palm, and told my mother something like, ‘…this guy can’t be held back, he’ll always be traveling the world.’  My mother loved me so much and she desperately tried to keep me safe at home with her.  Even that love didn’t stop me from breaking my security I had on my island home.

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* The picnic meal was always as fresh as can be.  At the Plantation there were fire pits ready to receive sticks and wood for the cooking fire.  Today the family still does things this way at the large get-togethers and many of our homes have 2nd kitchens, even if it is out back or in a garage due to snow and rain!  At any rate our meals were –and still are- top notch!

** In taking a retrospective look, I have realized, in the very act of being outdoors in the greatness of nature, how greatly my appetite is increased, how much better I feel –even if under the weather- and how divine a nap underneath a tree can be!

These days I go to my (very comfortable) bed and sometimes it takes most of the night to fall asleep, in fact, I usually don’t get into a deep sleep till the wee hours of the morning.  Yet camped on the beach or in the woods, sleep comes so easy and so soundly.

Nature – the way we were meant to be!