To shore up or …

imagedream my way out to sea?

Well, speaking for myself, always in regards of myself (save for when I’m voicing LBM’s stories but then, that’s really only a narrative of someone else’s experience anyway, isn’t it?), I’m choosing to leave the shore a lot more often.

And while for the most part it’s been instilled into a greater percentage of us, that our life’s practice must contain a whole lot of shoring up as it were, well, I’ve noticed that hasn’t always been so much fun.

Fun? one would ask me.  Is that all life means to you, is to just have fun?  Sure fun is good but it can’t be all there is, all the time.  Have you not a sedate thought as to the direction of your future?  Are you just going to throw sensibility and caution straight out into the gale force winds, shrugging your shoulders at the very word, ‘serious’ … Seriously!?

Okay to be fair, I took quite a few things with as solemn an approach as I was raised to do, while making my way through this world; through this first half of my life.  You know, I’ve noticed however, as time goes by, the seriousness of it all begins to fall away.

🤍 And thank goodness it has done exactly that for me.  It couldn’t have happened at a better time, this unencumbered ability to just be!  Trust me, this has nothing to do with a financial perspective as I haven’t one anyway.  Someone just asked me, “How can you be like that, especially during this CoronaVirus scenario?”  I don’t know if I could really ever explain it, I just know it.

 

Get this:  two days ago I accidentally dropped a hot water pot to the ground, at my feet.  It was three quarters full and had just come to a complete boil.  The pot was momentarily resting at a level just above my head.

You see, my brother’s house is currently kitchen-less during renovations and so that’s where the pot’s base was, atop the refrigerator as there’s really no space here in the hallway.  And I take full responsibility for the accident, I do.

Now as it made its way down, it bounced off a mid-level (about waist high) shelf, flipping itself on its side and that’s when it happened.  As it hit the shelf, the water burst out from the pot, it doused my entire left hand, to also include both sides down past my wrist, and then both of my legs (I was wearing shorts) as it hit the floor!

Shocked?  Oh yes, for sure! 🔥 It took a moment to realize I’d just been badly burned.  I picked up the pot and set it on a side table, quickly making my way to the bathroom faucet for a good drenching of cold water💦

There was very much a raging fire burning from within my hand which encouraged me to repeat over and over, ‘I’m fine, I’m good, I’m brave, it’s going to be all right,’ and over again some more.  I said this out loud because I wanted to be sure LOL my affirmations were being heard somewhere out in the universe!

I was also being very, very appreciative that my head or face wasn’t involved in this mishap.  I intentionally ignored my legs because the nerves of my hand were screaming a lot louder.

After a little bit, the cold water from the faucet was not cold enough so I had to get the pitcher of cold water out of the fridge and slowly trickle it onto my hand.  Emptying the pitcher, I had to return to the faucet but it did feel better than at the beginning.

This process went on for quite some time until I could finally pull myself away from the running water to attempt applying something soothing onto the surface of my hand.  CBD to the rescue!

It was an all day, all evening process; in and out of the running cold water and frozen washcloths but do you know, in all that pain, I was able to sleep most of the night through, waking only from the misplacement of my hand.

And do you know why?  Right from the beginning I reminded myself to absolutely not take this seriously, despite the intense pain and I’m not kidding!  While it’s true my legs received a lesser amount of 💦 splash, I didn’t attend to them at all.  I had felt the burn when it happened and for a short while after the fact but they managed themselves I suppose.

🌸 Today, the 3rd day, there’s redness only at the inside of my wrist and a little on the back of my hand.  I’m trusting that’ll be gone before long, perhaps even before my birthday next week ☺️ and pain?  Non-existent LOL save for when I knocked my hand up against something yesterday. ⚛️

I’m so appreciative that I was able to, in such a crisis, remind myself to not take it too seriously.  I’m not certain how my reaction will take hold in alternate circumstances but I have to say, I see this has been a very good direction for me and I’ll keep comfortably on this path.

Perhaps my story will awaken something in yourself … a positive application of self-trust, a bit more relaxed about life and a healthy dose of more fun!  Look, I know how severe this burn was, I see the manifestation of the near immediate healing and I also know how great I felt comforting myself 🌹with simple ease and pleasure of being light-hearted 💙💕💖

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23. A Mosquito Net and an Ice Cold Beer

At first as one can imagine, this was most awkward but we were able to push through that stage fairly quickly.  We both seem to want the same thing, to make it work.    

There was a lot of talk which is a good thing.   There were times when only a whole lot of beating around the bush on most topics took place.  

Eventually I was able to confirm at least in my own mind, the past actions of my wife were for the most part, the actions of her parents.  Only sixteen at the time, remember?  She was doing as they were ‘guiding’ her to do.  

Our new home was nice, it was spacious, it was in the right neighborhood and it looks like the place came with its own handyman because he was there regularly, painting this and repairing that.  

It took us a few days to be rightly settled in; groceries, bedding & linens, pots & pans, like that.  Oh yes, most important, must have the mosquito net!  That’s just as important as groceries!

And do you know what?  For the first time since the wedding, we felt married!  We did everything together; shopping for groceries? that was such a joy!  Lucky for me Hemma was a very good cook.  And she seemed more relaxed.  

We were starting to look just like what I thought in my mind a couple ought to be like.  What fun these two young people were having!

When I came home in the early evenings, she prepared fresh hot tea for me and after we had enjoyed our tea together, we’d go into the kitchen.  We worked together to prepare our evening meal.  She would stop for a moment to pour an ice cold glass of beer and we shared that.

After our meal we would settle back in the living room, almost always side by side and listen to an hour or so of the Indian programme on Radio Fiji.  This is how we both wanted our life together to be.  

Right from the beginning when we had those quiet, private little talks; to be together doing only what we wanted with no one placing their expectations upon us.  As husband and wife left to make our own choices, that’s how we both wanted it.

And yes for those of you wondering, we did talk about the loss of our son.  I asked many questions and understandably she mostly cried.  Well, at least there was some closure on that between this father and mother of a child taken away much too soon.    

We began to make plans once again for our future.

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About telling Noori of this new development; she was my dear friend after all and as before, she stepped back over to the side-line.  She knew I wasn’t really available to be with her.