To shore up or …

imagedream my way out to sea?

Well, speaking for myself, always in regards of myself (save for when I’m voicing LBM’s stories but then, that’s really only a narrative of someone else’s experience anyway, isn’t it?), I’m choosing to leave the shore a lot more often.

And while for the most part it’s been instilled into a greater percentage of us, that our life’s practice must contain a whole lot of shoring up as it were, well, I’ve noticed that hasn’t always been so much fun.

Fun? one would ask me.  Is that all life means to you, is to just have fun?  Sure fun is good but it can’t be all there is, all the time.  Have you not a sedate thought as to the direction of your future?  Are you just going to throw sensibility and caution straight out into the gale force winds, shrugging your shoulders at the very word, ‘serious’ … Seriously!?

Okay to be fair, I took quite a few things with as solemn an approach as I was raised to do, while making my way through this world; through this first half of my life.  You know, I’ve noticed however, as time goes by, the seriousness of it all begins to fall away.

🤍 And thank goodness it has done exactly that for me.  It couldn’t have happened at a better time, this unencumbered ability to just be!  Trust me, this has nothing to do with a financial perspective as I haven’t one anyway.  Someone just asked me, “How can you be like that, especially during this CoronaVirus scenario?”  I don’t know if I could really ever explain it, I just know it.

 

Get this:  two days ago I accidentally dropped a hot water pot to the ground, at my feet.  It was three quarters full and had just come to a complete boil.  The pot was momentarily resting at a level just above my head.

You see, my brother’s house is currently kitchen-less during renovations and so that’s where the pot’s base was, atop the refrigerator as there’s really no space here in the hallway.  And I take full responsibility for the accident, I do.

Now as it made its way down, it bounced off a mid-level (about waist high) shelf, flipping itself on its side and that’s when it happened.  As it hit the shelf, the water burst out from the pot, it doused my entire left hand, to also include both sides down past my wrist, and then both of my legs (I was wearing shorts) as it hit the floor!

Shocked?  Oh yes, for sure! 🔥 It took a moment to realize I’d just been badly burned.  I picked up the pot and set it on a side table, quickly making my way to the bathroom faucet for a good drenching of cold water💦

There was very much a raging fire burning from within my hand which encouraged me to repeat over and over, ‘I’m fine, I’m good, I’m brave, it’s going to be all right,’ and over again some more.  I said this out loud because I wanted to be sure LOL my affirmations were being heard somewhere out in the universe!

I was also being very, very appreciative that my head or face wasn’t involved in this mishap.  I intentionally ignored my legs because the nerves of my hand were screaming a lot louder.

After a little bit, the cold water from the faucet was not cold enough so I had to get the pitcher of cold water out of the fridge and slowly trickle it onto my hand.  Emptying the pitcher, I had to return to the faucet but it did feel better than at the beginning.

This process went on for quite some time until I could finally pull myself away from the running water to attempt applying something soothing onto the surface of my hand.  CBD to the rescue!

It was an all day, all evening process; in and out of the running cold water and frozen washcloths but do you know, in all that pain, I was able to sleep most of the night through, waking only from the misplacement of my hand.

And do you know why?  Right from the beginning I reminded myself to absolutely not take this seriously, despite the intense pain and I’m not kidding!  While it’s true my legs received a lesser amount of 💦 splash, I didn’t attend to them at all.  I had felt the burn when it happened and for a short while after the fact but they managed themselves I suppose.

🌸 Today, the 3rd day, there’s redness only at the inside of my wrist and a little on the back of my hand.  I’m trusting that’ll be gone before long, perhaps even before my birthday next week ☺️ and pain?  Non-existent LOL save for when I knocked my hand up against something yesterday. ⚛️

I’m so appreciative that I was able to, in such a crisis, remind myself to not take it too seriously.  I’m not certain how my reaction will take hold in alternate circumstances but I have to say, I see this has been a very good direction for me and I’ll keep comfortably on this path.

Perhaps my story will awaken something in yourself … a positive application of self-trust, a bit more relaxed about life and a healthy dose of more fun!  Look, I know how severe this burn was, I see the manifestation of the near immediate healing and I also know how great I felt comforting myself 🌹with simple ease and pleasure of being light-hearted 💙💕💖

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51. Aloha! It Would Seem My Destiny Lay a Bit More To The West

I slept comfortably, wonderfully and completely.   🌴 Maybe it was the lull of the islands?  No matter, it was a very restful night. Waking up in a private home in Honolulu wasn’t anything I had ever planned but here I was.  🌺

It sounded like James was already in the kitchen preparing breakfast.  I got up, straightened my bed, washed and got dressed.

A gorgeous morning meal was waiting for me, so simple but I never forgot it.  He prepared these beautiful pancakes, the syrup tasted Hawaiian 🌸 hey! what can I say, it did.  And the side dish was the tastiest Hawaiian papayas, banana and pineapple ever.

After breakfast was devoured and cleared away, James asked me what I was thinking.  Well I had to follow my gut didn’t I?  I told him I thought his kindness to this stranger couldn’t have been more appreciated.  His hospitality was a blessing I didn’t even realize I needed.

‘I feel I must continue my journey to California,’ I told him in a relaxed voice; it was exactly how I felt.  It was also exactly how James reacted.  “I understand good man, follow your dreams I say!”  We smiled.  He called Pan American Airways, effortlessly rescheduling my flight for that very evening.

As I was repacking my suitcase James came into the room with a piece of paper.  “Here’s my address Blue.”  What a warm heart I thought to myself as I looked at the paper he put into my hand.  He continued with a smile, “Write to me some time.  I’d love to know how things turn for you and I want you to know that you’re always welcome back here.”  

Before I knew it we were off in his car, down the hillside and back into Honolulu.  He drove me around the town for awhile, showing me more of his world, here and there.  I enjoyed every moment of this kind gentleman’s company.  

James wanted to treat me to a ‘farewell’ lunch at a restaurant he personally favored, carefully planning it to be later in the afternoon, closer to his delivering me to the airport time.  

Good thinking on his part; I just knew he wanted to be certain to send me off with a full tummy.  We enjoyed a delicious meal and comfortable conversation.

The airline had recommended I be at the airport at least two hours prior to the scheduled flight time.  ✈️ Even though I had a confirmed ticket they wanted to be sure I was present.  Nearly the same as today but actually very different lol

And so the time had come to part ways.  He left me off at the Honolulu airport and drove off after a warm, sincere good bye … or rather Aloha!

🌴


 

8. One Never Forgets Their First Love 🌸 -The Human Condition- part 2

We discussed that upon my return to Canada I could ‘jump ship’ with her assistance so we could marry and run off into our own world.  We were young and certainly dreaming in the carefree style of youth but we felt it was something much more.

We spoke about other little things, a few more questions about each other but it was clear, our main topic of conversation remained my return and our wanting to be together for always.

We did not dance this evening.  We didn’t want to shift in any way from our fixed position there at the table.  I cannot describe too well exactly how it was and the only thing which comes to mind is this: it was like someone brought a heater over to our table, placed it there at our feet, making us so warm and cozy leaving nothing to exist outside our immediate parameter.

I was so confident this was completely beyond a simple flight of fancy.  We were melting over here, into one another!  Unfortunately for us, the clock continued ticking the seconds away and not only did she have to get home I too had to return to the ship.

Not once during the evening did we separate.  There would be the occasional glance over to the table her sisters occupied and always a friendly smile or wave was sent back our way.  I knew we had their approval.

It was about 10p and we had to admit it was time to say goodnight.  We both slowly stood up knowing that would begin the separation process.  We immediately embraced.  Funny how the departing embrace felt too short and not at all like the eternity of meeting again.  We held on to each other as long as we could and then I kissed her on the cheek.

She looked at me with that special smile of hers and right away she kissed me.  She kissed me!  Well then, I knew this was certainly meant to be.  Now I returned the kiss and wow, we were glued together in what brought back that feeling of eternity!

I don’t know how that moment spirited away but we found ourselves, with her roses in one hand and my hand in her other, at the table of her sisters and I knew I had to leave.

I said goodnight and thanked the girls for being so kind. “Good night lovely ladies, it’s been my pleasure.”  They replied with smiles and giggles, “We’ll see you soon!”

Sonia stood beside me and it was very clear to me, she did not want to be separated from me, nor I from her.  We were holding hands all this time and as I had to make a move towards the door, we held each other’s hand right up to the last touch of fingertips as they slowly fell away from the dream.

As I walked out the door I looked back and saw that Sonia was silently watching me.  Although there was a subtle smile on her lips, I sensed sadness in her eyes.  My heart felt hers.  We hesitantly waved to one another and I was out the door.  My heart remained in her hands.

I grabbed a cab and returned to the ship.  Now in my cabin, I changed into my pajamas, turned down my bed and sat on it.  I felt the need to say a prayer.  I asked God to help me return to Sonia, never letting us part again.

Also I asked Him to keep her healthy and happy …and then I saw her beautiful smile and so much love in her gentle brownish-blue eyes; well I guess my prayer trailed off at that point and I lay down, methodically pulling the covers over myself, to assure you the only thing I had in my mind was returning to Sonia.

I tried desperately to sleep but most of the night I was kept awake with images of her holding on to me.  They were so intense I could feel her body holding mine so tight as though she knew I would leave and …I knew Sonia never wanted me to leave.  In my heart, I did not want to leave her.

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